I don’t like cake.

Seriously. I just don’t like it. I personally prefer cake’s more moist cousin the brownie–you get all the goodness without the sickeningly sweet frosting. Or, if I’m really getting to choose, I’ll just take ice cream cake, por favor. You can never go wrong with ice cream.

That being said, there is just something overtly comforting about cake. I don’t know if it’s its association with celebratory moments or the fact that baking a cake fills your home with some of the most devastatingly delicious aromas known to mankind, but a homemade cake seems to be one of the most inviting, warm, and wonderful food items in the world.

Knowing this–and even though I am not a cake-lover–a few weeks ago I found myself in my kitchen soundlessly measuring and mixing a cake together because it was all I knew to do.

Why? Because life was feeling like everything was falling out beneath me. And gosh darn it, I needed some cake like I’ve never needed cake before.

Let me explain.

In the series of a few weeks, it seemed like everything went from hunky-dory to absolute disarray. Being that it’s springtime, life in general just got busier. Tom started up his softball leagues (yes, leagues) again and I started my coaching season as a coach for Girls on the Run. On top of that, I had made it to the final rounds of interviewing for a a big promotion at work for a different team that does some really cool stuff. Between endlessly prepping for the interview and running like crazy between our activities, life was busy…but it was good.

But then the phone rang.

My dad called and told me they thought my mom had cancer and she was going in for more tests. Following endless tests and a biopsy, they confirmed she needed to have a lumpectomy.

Then the phone rang again.

Following my annual physical, my doctor called me to tell me that my white and blood cell counts were scarily low and that I needed to start coming in for weekly appointments and injections starting the very next day.

And then the phone rang again.

I didn’t get the really-cool, super-exciting, very-impressive new job. It was the first time in my life I applied for something and I didn’t get it. While it’s a good thing to have happen to teach you how to deal with failure, it felt like a slap in the face when paired with everything else.

So, what did I do? I baked a cake. 

Now you may think I’m insane, but at the time I needed that cake more than I’ve needed anything before. I needed the comfort, I needed the warmth, and I needed the chocolate.

What didn’t I need? I didn’t need the sugar. In fact, with my health already being less than stellar and as a pre-diabetic I needed to be even more careful about my sugar intake.

So while most of my culinary compromises are to create better-for-you versions of food that Tom loves so we can both enjoy it–this time it was different. This time I just needed to be create and bake for me.

I needed to get out of my distracted and worried brain and focus on testing and failing in my safe space: the kitchen. I needed to create something that would bring me joy without the guilt of eating something that was bad for my body. And, perhaps more than anything, I needed to taste and be present in the moment of pure bliss when you take a bite of delicious chocolate cake.

So…where’s the compromise?

Here’s my answer:

• Swap out the white flour and bring in my trusty almond flour to be the low-carb, low-sugar base of the cake
• Ditch the refined sugar and use bananas and a touch of honey as the sweetener
• Amplify the flavor and texture of traditional chocolate cake by adding peanut butter and chopped peanuts…as well as a few of those delectable chocolate chips…because sometimes you just need the real thing
• Use a mini-bundt pan…because I love bundt cakes and this cake is for me after all!

| Alaina’s Cake |

Serves: 4 Tom’s or 8 Alaina’s

Ingredients Needed:

Dry Ingredients:

• 1 cup finely ground almond flour
• 3 tbsp. cocoa powder
• 1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
• 1/2 tsp. baking soda

Wet Ingredients:

• 2 ripe bananas, mashed
• 2 eggs
• 1/4 cup peanut butter
• 2 tbsp melted butter (preferably salted)
• 1 tbsp. pure honey
• 1 1/2 tsp. vanilla

Mix-Ins:

• 1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
• 1/4 cup chopped peanuts (preferably salted)
  • Why salted? Because salt makes things sweeter!

Directions:

First, you need to get prepped!

• Preheat your oven to 300 degrees F
• Lightly spray your mini-bundt pan with non-stick cooking spray, set aside
  • Note: If you don’t own a mini-bundt cake pan, you should really go buy one! It will make your baking life exponentially happier. If you don’t want to buy one, you can make the same recipe with a cupcake pan and reduce the cooking time to 15-20 minutes or use a regular cake pan and increase the baking time to 40-45 minutes. It’s not the same…but it’s still pretty dang good!

Once you’re prepped, get your dry ingredients together…

• Add all of your dry ingredients to a medium mixing bowl and mix well using a whisk, set aside
  • Using a whisk helps ensure all ingredients get evenly distributed when working with almond flour that has a bit of a oilier, coarser texture than normal white flour 

Next up, get your wet ingredients combined…

• Add all wet ingredients to a large mixing bowl and mix well using a stand or hand mixer

Now combine the two mixtures ever-so-slowly…

• Turning your mixer on low/medium-low, ever so s-l-o-w-l-y add your dry mixture to your wet mixture one heaping tablespoon at a time
• Continue to add the dry mixture a tablespoon at a time until both mixtures are entirely combined and well-mixed

All that’s left is to add in the mix-ins…

• Add in the chopped peanuts and chocolate chips and stir to combine

Now get these babies in the oven!

• Fill each mini-bundt cake section 2/3rd’s full
• Bake cakes in the oven for 25-30 minutes (or until a toothpick can be cleanly inserted and removed)

Now the waiting game…

• Let cakes cool for 10 minutes
• Place a cooling rack on top of the cakes and flip the cake pan upside down to invert the cakes onto the cooling rack
• Once cool (or almost cool…let’s get real), ENJOY!
• Cakes should be stored in a loosely sealed (read: NOT AIR-TIGHT) container or zip-top bag
  • Why, you ask? Well, almond flour makes a very moist cake base…you need to give it some air so it doesn’t become so moist that it’s mushy. That would be no bueno.

To put it simply, this cake is everything a cake should be. It’s moist, it’s chocolatey, and smells absolutely divine.

After you take a moment to admire the beauty of your perfectly-portioned personal mini-bundt, the first bite is killer: you get a burst of chocolatey-goodness right away, but then as you continue to eat the flavors of the peanut butter and the banana shine through. And then, just before your swallow and just as you ask yourself “Am I in heaven?“, you get a brief taste and crunch of semi-sweet chocolate and a slightly salty peanut that enhances the flavor profile of the entire bite.

At the time, this cake was exactly what I needed. I know this cake is nothing particularly fancy, but there’s power in creating something from scratch and seeing it blossom into something delicious you can share with others.

On top of that, as I sat down to enjoy this cake with Tom over a glass of ice cold milk, we savored not just the cake but the time to take a deep breath, forget our worries for a moment, and be truly present with each other.

While things didn’t get better at that exact moment as I took a bite of cake, they did get better. My mom had her lumpectomy and found out she was cancer-free (#hallelujah) and at the moment will only need to attend frequent cancer screenings. My weekly injections seem to be helping and hopefully will get my blood cell levels where they should be over the next year. And as for that job? It turns out that while the team does so awesome work, I truly don’t think I’d be as happy in that role as I am in my current job–a job where I actually get paid to design programs and grant Target’s money to help people live healthier lives.

So while I don’t give all the credit to the cake–it’s obvious that time and a lot of faith got me where I am today–I do think that the moment of calm and joy given to me by this cake kick-started my journey to feeling the way I do today.

In short, what I’m trying to say is this: the power of some homemade chocolate cake should never be underestimated.

So, whether times are good or bad, happy or sad–make some cake for you and your loved ones. Put simply, just let them eat cake. You’ll be surprised what good a bit of homemade cake can do you.

Here’s to making many more culinary compromises…all in the name of love.

xoxo,

alaina